Explanation

[eldar]

Why on earth am I posting a meme at 3.14am on a Saturday monring? Well, your honour, it's like this... it was this cat. It wasn't a particularly clever cat, see, and it got lost. Down my trousers. Yeah, fanciful stuff, I know, but it was after the rat, y'see. My pet rat lives in my trousers. So this stupid cat went after it. Anyway, it took me a bit by surprise, and I stumbled into the road, where I got knocked down by a passing circus tent. Luckily, the clown scooped me up with his big shoes, and flipped me up into the air so that I landed on the trapeze platform. Being a Northern Line Trapeze platform, I had to wait far too long for a swing to come along, and I had to change halfway to get where I wanted to go (I can tell you, that was a tricky business, what with a cat and a rat in my trousers!) In fact, I missed, and then discovered that I was performing sans safety net. Just as well we were passing over some thin ice, else that would've been the end of me! When I came to, I was a little wet, and quite cold, but thankfully a couple of tramps had set fire to me and were warming their hands around my burning jacket. They'd also cooked the cat - and the poor rat, but I didn't mind, it was costing me too much to feed him anyway. That was when the Marie Celeste sailed past on the canal where I'd ended up, so I hopped aboard and asked them to take me home. They happened to be going my way (albeit via Antarctica), but I persuaded them to take a shortcut and so, a mere ten hours after leaving work, here I am, safe and sound at home.
Frankly, I could've told you some cock and bull story about having a couple of beers after work, then heading over to spliceruk's new place, spending a good few hours in his and philipstorry's company drinking whisky, eating curry, and enjoying the conversation and company, before heading home by means of a couple of night buses. But you'd have never believed me.