eldar | A sin that requires no penance?

I feel as if I've committed some unspeakable evil, that for my actions I should be cast out, never called upon again. Yet I've done nothing of the sort. All I'm guilty of is wanting to curl up and die, to curl up and cry, to be on my own when I should've been with friends, all I've done is offer no real reason for it so why do I feel as if I've done the worst thing that I could imaginably ever do? Is there some deep subconscious layer that wants people to hate me? I know that I have diifficulty accepting the people like me. Maybe it's not quite that way, then, maybe I can't accept that I'm not disliked. How can I go on like this? How can I overcome this? I feel as if I've been waiting forever already and I don't want to wait forever again, I'm not getting any younger and there is just so much I've missed out on. Where do I go from here?